Last summer I got really excited about the game of carpetball, one of the best games on the planet. I started talking it up with a few friends and thought that once we began playing carpetball, we would be laughing and playing and shoving each other for weeks and months on end. Well, that never happened. And I feel bad about it, why? Because carpetball is the best game ever.
What is carpetball? Well, once again, Ill tell you it’s the best game ever, but its a game played on a wooden trough that is outlined in carpet. The basic idea is to line up balls on your side of the trough and to be the first to knock all of the other opponents balls out of the trough. “Ok”, you are saying, “this is the best game ever. Tell me more!” OK, that’s not a problem, but I thought I might need to convince you more, so give me a sec to get my bearings…
What’s that? You have never heard of carpetball before just now? Of course you havent! The simple fact of the matter is that the game is too awesome to be widely known. See, the people who already know about it are too busy playing it to be bothered to tell anyone else about it. They will go to extreme measures to play this game. Don’t believe me? Look at these people’s faces…
These people are literally freaking out around a carpetball table and I’m pretty sure no one has even started playing yet. The guy in the back is lifting his heads towards the heavens in utter excitement that there is a God great enough to bestow upon humanity the greatest game ever known. At least, I’m pretty sure thats what is going on. Even if I’m incorrect, you can not deny this other picture…
I dont know where this is, but wherever it is, it should be called “Party City”, because there is no other explanation to describe the immense insanity that is taking place around that carpetball table. I’m not sure, but it looks like their are two tables put together side by side! Can you imagine how many babies were conceived right where all those people are standing? Insane…
I know I have already convinced most of you of how awesome this game is…but I know a guy who is colorblind, so I’m pretty sure those pictures (as awesome as they are) are nothing but faceless blobs to him, so I think I need to explain some more. People LOVE this game. People will do anything for this game. Carpetball.net, the leading website for all things carpetball, explains that there is usually such a frenzy from people who want to play carpetball that drastic measures are taken to decide who gets to play first. It’s first recommendation is to have everyone run a mile and the first one done gets to play carpetball first. RUN A MILE! How insane is that! A normal game lasts around 5 minutes. A normal mile, for me, lasts around 9 minutes…talk about dedication. People are willing to run a mile just to be first to play a five minute game. Another suggestion is too have a kid VOLUNTEER to wash a bathroom so that they can play carpetball first…what? Wash a bathroom for a game? No, but for the best game ever…I guess so…
